Love God...Part 4

Before Christ's atonement for us, the Lord commanded the Israelites to keep a day set apart from other days to rest, but more importantly I think God appointed this day each week for us to show Him our love and gratitude by reflecting on the work He has done and continues to do.

8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. 11 For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy."

We praise Him and listen to the Holy Spirit speak into our heart. It gives us encouragement for the week to come. Though we may be resting and taking the Sabbath as a holy day, the Spirit is never at rest. This is the day to tap into Him the most out of any others. For if we don't, our spirits do not get fed and our love for God and walk with Christ does not continue to grow.

Isaiah 58:13-14 New International Version (NIV)
13 “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, 14 then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.” For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

It is like spending time with a loved one. It is cherished and something very valuable. I believe in God's eyes there is no day better than Sunday than to rest from the world and sit in His lap and ask Him to tell you stories. To hold you. To love you before you go on your way back out into the world. There has been times I didn't want church to end, nor Sunday. It is very hard for me to make the transition. What great love we show to Him this way!

Image courtesy of Livingbydesign.org

Rain on Me!

Isaiah 55:10-11 New International Version (NIV) 10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Isn't this awesome?

While reading this, I realized a parallel from a book I read  called "Having a Mary heart in a Martha World" where the author, Joanna Weaver says, “For it is impossible to be in the presence of Jesus and not be changed” - this is so true my friends. How often have you come out of spending time with the Lord that you are discouraged? You are not.

I love the verse above - I know when I read the Bible or ponder or meditate on it I know it is working in me. Because God promises it does and I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit confirm it.

I pray Lord that you would rain on me, and that it will return to you for your will. Amen.

Love God...Part 3

As a child I remember first hearing the word vain to describe the wicked stepmother that was always out to get the princess I so adored from the fairy tale of Cinderella. I'd also heard the word when learning of the Ten Commandments during church. But I didn't understand the word. In fact having had the KJV version of the Bible as my first and only exposure to God's Word, I found I didn't understand a lot of words. And being a child of course I didn't think to ask what it meant either. I just went about my business as usual and knew it was something not to be. It was obvious to me at the time that it meant a mean person and something God was against.

Now having an understanding in the Word I realize that the word vain from my fairy tales and the vain that God warns us against are two VERY different meanings.

Exodus 20:7 in the NIV says, “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name." To study further, the original Hebrew “Nasa” (pronounced naw-saw) literally reads, “Do not carry the name of the Lord your God in vain.” Then the Commandment continues, “for God will not hold guiltless (literally, “will not cleanse” or “who will not hold him to be clean that carries His name in vain”) whoever carries His name in vain.”

I love that we have different translations of God's Word because there are some words that have clearer resonance than others and at different times in our lives. The NIV puts a whole new light to God's third Commandment and part of Jesus' 1st Commandment on how to love God by respecting and having reverence for His name.

Some people believe that because there are so many versions of the Bible that it has become corrupt. I have learned that if you study the original words from the original manuscripts and their meaning they have the same meanings of the more modern words that have become our vocabulary today. I highly recommend keeping the KJV version side by side as well as a concordance with the version you are studying so as to make sure you are getting the correct context and also to follow up, if you're like me, what you were taught previous to coming into understanding.

So the definition of vain is "useless, producing no results" - to me this means we are to honor his Name, that it is to be kept Holy above all others. When we say His name it should affect us and those around us that is for His Glory. James 3:9-10 speaks of the tongue as a powerful part of the body: “With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” Our goal is to be consistent in our use of words, so they would serve as a blessing to God and to others.

I often hear people making remarks with the Lord's name as the means of an interjection at the end of their sentence or as a swear word. It pierces and breaks my heart each time. I know these people don't know God the way I do or love Him, and don't realize they are cursing their maker. I am sure it is just a habit to them now but until I knew the Lord I never realized how many people misuse his Name.

Jesus taught us that God's name is to be hallowed when praying. Reading His teaching of this caused me to ponder greatly on what it meant to me. What is hallowed and what is God's name to me? It was revealed to me that I too misuse His name. I have been guilty of calling on Him at times when I don't really mean it, not purposefully but idly out of habit and taking His name for granted. I have had to learn to identify when I do this with the Holy Spirit's help so that I may ask forgiveness of it right away and humble myself and consider that conviction the next time before I call on His name whether that be in prayer, song, or praising and worshiping.

Names are a pretty big deal to God. Have you ever noticed how He re-names His children once they come to know Him? He renamed Abram to Abraham, Jacob to Israel, and Saul to Paul. These are just a few to speak of. Because God thinks so highly of us to name us, it is awesome to know that He calls us by a new identity with a will for our life.  Names can be a pretty big deal to us too. Think about it. When someone uses your name, it really speaks to you; you feel important and recognized.

There are so many names for God that honor who He is. I once learned all His names in Sunday School and at first I felt so foreign to them. But as I grew in the Lord I now find them holy and personal to me. I think my favorite is Emmanuel because it speaks to my heart of the trinity in how God is with us in whole, in all three parts of Himself. Complete. And that He never leaves. I thank God for sending Jesus who lived with us here only to ascend into heaven and give the gift of the Holy Spirit. I thank God that the Holy Spirit resides in me and that I have access to Him through the Holy Spirit because of  Jesus' sacrifice. Emmanuel means God is with me.

Here are other names I identify with God, and there are many lists you can study of names people used from the Bible to find what names for Him speak to you:

Adonai (Lord, Master)
Spirit of Truth
My Comforter
Lord
Savior
Heavenly Father
Jesus Christ
God
El Shaddai (Lord God Almighty)
Father
Prince of Peace
Yahweh

The Lord our God knows His children by the way they speak of Him, of His name. This honors Him and shows our praise for Him. I too find delight when my children call me their mother. It is a special name and I honor it. It is an act of Love to God.

"Let them praise the name of the LORD: for his name alone is excellent; his glory [is] above the earth and heaven." Psa 148:13

Love God Part 2

So how do we love God? Do we love Him wholly above everything else or is He just an afterthought? How do you think Jesus loved God? The 2nd commandment explains it well and instructs God's children on this explicitly.

(Ex 20:4-6) "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments."

The Hebrew word translated “graven image” means literally “an idol.” In the day of Moses there was a progression of idolatry where people put presence of force in a natural object by making an image of the personality they believe God is. They go as far as making a place for it and spending time with it because in that object they believe the force is indwelling in it.

We have idols of many sources today. Our self-esteem is one of them. Self love is one thing, but to put all our esteem and dependence on ourselves and boast about it to others or to ourselves is ego and creates pride. We also learn to love "things" or fleshly desires (Col. 3:5) and treasure them. These too are idolatrous in their own way because we work hard to get them and love them and want more. These idols create fleeting emotions and are filled with void. It is our faith that lasts. The things you cannot see.

While people don't mean to be this way, it is important to accept it is in our human nature. God wants us to put Him first and foremost in our minds. This commandment refers back to the 1st. God wants us to worship only Him. Is this so terrible? I mean if someone created you and all that is around you for you what is so wrong for Him to create YOU for Him and His desire alone? His jealousy for us is not a humanly emotion where it is wrong to desire something that does not belong to you. His jealousy for you and I is Godly as it is his ownership in us.

Many years ago while in prayer I recall noticing all the different colors of thread in the carpet of our church sanctuary and contemplated them while I focused and prepared my heart to converse with Jesus. In that moment the Lord brought to my attention that those little specs in that one square pattern on that carpet are like the number of heads of His people. I didn't even notice the rest of the floor and thought to myself, "How could He possibly want me with all these others?" So I asked Him, "Why do you love me?" His reply was simple, "My Creation." I could not have felt more love and understanding in Him and what His will was for my life than I did at that moment. I often re-play this fond memory of mine and am brought back to that place of love all over again.

Loving God by not creating other idols in our lives truly expresses ourselves to Him and allows communion with Him in a special personal way that only comes with this type of worship that he desires in us. If you truly love Him, there is nothing between your worship for Him. If there is, admit they are idols and ask God to help you abstain from them and come to Him first when tempted so that your love can be purified with Him.

Love God Part 1

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment." Matthew 22:37-38

How to love God is to strive in believing in and following the first 4 of the original 10 commandments. Before being born into the Holy Spirit (John 3:5) I naively thought it was a list of "to do" and "not to do" items. Since then so much has been revealed to me as to what each really means which is why I wanted to emphasize each in its own post.

The commandments that were given in the Old Testament seemed cut and dry right? And if someone could not keep them they had to offer sacrifice to clean them from that sin. The book of Leviticus, while tedious to read, is a recording of the laws God instructed Moses to give to the Israelites and Priests on how they were expected to live as well as respond to the commandments when they were not kept. Very much different from today's commandments of loving God and loving others isn't it?

Today those original commandments are no longer binding to our eternal life. The law was fulfilled for good when Jesus, God's son, was offered as the final sacrifice from God for our sins. (John 3:16) He gave up His only Son to demonstrate His own love for us and offer Jesus as the way for reconciliation with Him. He knows we can't always keep the commandments because we are fallible, but if we have accepted Jesus as our Savior, we hold these commandments dear to our heart and desire to keep them knowing that Jesus died so that we may be clean once and for all. As you learn to walk with the Lord it becomes intrinsic day to day to repent when His gentle conviction shows how you may have fallen short. Following these commandments is one of many ways we show our love to God.

So thinking about the 1st commandment, "I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me." (Exodus 20:2-3) how should we read this? God expects us to have a holy respect for Him. Something separate from anything or anyone else. Why?

God created us, similar to our fathers here on earth. He loves us, also similar to our own fathers. Now not everyone has had the experience of a loving father here on earth. Or perhaps there was no relationship at all or maybe it was broken. Some just do not hold a respect for their parents, so as you can see it may be hard to convey this example to all but if you haven't had a relationship with your parents, you can always choose to have one with God and still make things right with Him while you are living on earth.

Just as fathers do with their own children, God taught the Israelites how they should live. He still teaches us today through our relationship with Jesus as our Savior. He provides us with consequences so that we may learn the seriousness of His love. And like children who don't understand always why, we learn to trust Him. We need to realize we are a child of God and love Him.

Reading in the Bible the Israelites' and Priests' relationship with God might sound like nothing but rituals or sacrifices, but God looks at the heart. What they did and how they showed respect to Him were so much more than as if a means of "buying" their cleanliness. Their relationship to God was like a child to their Father. Like the relationship we have with our earthly Father, this relationship bodes deep and meaningful of love for Him and wished to please Him.

Thinking about this the verse where Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Matthew 19:14) applies to us today. Come to God as His child. Come only to Him, to no one else. For He is referred to in our Father in Heaven in the Lord's prayer when Jesus taught his disciples, "Hallowed be His name" -For He is our Father. Amen.

Love God. Love Others.10 Ponderings of the Heart

These words have been echoing in my heart the last couple of weeks, "Love God. Love Others." Matt 22:36-40  Why? Because as I see the world around me I know that this is the true Church, the only Church. Jesus told us so long ago that it is the most important thing we can do. He has commanded us to Love. Yet today His message is just as powerful as ever and the world is in need of it.

So as I've been thinking about these two greatest commandments, I have also been prompted to talk about them from my heart; Love God and Love Others. As I ponder on them and what they mean I hope to glean new understanding in my walk and become closer to God on a new level as well as anyone who may be reading this. There is always something revealed new with the Holy Spirit when you seek the answers to your questions. Our God is alive and active!

First, God is Love. What does Love produce? More Love. Of course if we love God first, it is intrinsically natural that we will feel expressions of love for others. Our view point changes about them and we find that we care for them. But how does a person love God if they do not know Him or believe in Him first?

Not all of us have that spiritual side from when we were children that connects to God without first knowing Jesus. Not everyone knows the sound of that still, small voice. For me, I've known Him for years as Father, Son, and Spirit before I knew Him each separately. For others they may struggle to know Him in any form at all.

I think the first spark of love for God would be to have the a faith that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Even a small amount of faith can move mountains. If you don't have this, ask yourself why? What are you afraid of? Ask Him, even if you have never prayed before, whisper in His ear the question why and ask him to help you to find Him. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. He will show you things to repent of that you may not have been aware of before. Be authentic and ask for His forgiveness. When you feel the urge to sin of the thing you repent of, stop and ask of His help. Every day set a quiet time aside to continue to seek Him until you feel His peace and presence. It is an unmistakable feeling.

These two greatest commandments, loving God and loving others is given to us by His original ten commandments. I, myself, only recently understood them in a revealing new way and yet I am already 43 years old. You'd think when you read about the story of the commandments that God instructs Moses to give to His people in Exodus, you understand them, that they'd be simple to follow. They are cut and dry right? Almost like tasks. Yet as we try to work to keep them we almost fail immediately day by day. The key isn't in our work, but in Jesus'.

I love how the Old Testament is the gateway to the New. Like the Israelites who wandered aimlessly as well as myself, we may be in our 40's, 50's, even 80's before we come to truly understand who we are in Christ. Telling and reading the stories is one thing but it is another when you believe with your heart and your eyes and ears become opened. This is where revelation happens! I hope you'll read the next post where I'd like to ponder on the 1st of the 10 commands in Loving God and Loving Others.

Thankful for my blessings...

You know that song, "Count Your Blessings"? I love that one, not because it reminds me of the cheerful song we sang in church as a child, but because it really does remind me of all I am blessed with.

I have been looking for the perfect sign to post above my doorway in my family room of this saying and I haven't been able to quite yet find one. But yet I can already see it there.

I have so many wonderful things that God has given me and looking back at where I've been in my life I would have never thought I'd be so blessed as I am today.

God's greatest gifts are in His creations, the western sun in the Autumn sky as it warms my face, the cool breeze that smells of fall, the kindness of your husband when you are feeling ill, the gentle nudge from a kitty that wants your attention, the grass green and vibrant from the rain that fell the night before, the birds singing to each other in beautiful choruses, the eyes of your dog as he waits for you to call him, a loving call from your mother when you least expect it, your son dropping by to visit unannounced, your daughter's "thank you" for the meal you made.

Yes these are only a few of the many blessings that I think of every day, and blessings they are!

Words

Have you ever gotten a word from the Lord over and over when asking Him a question that the sound of the word He spoke just resonates with you still today?

Mine was "Encourage" - I had been asking the Lord for a long time what His will is for my life and to help me to know and this was the word he gave me. The story of Barnabas in the Bible spoke to me about this new role Jesus has given to me yet I haven't done much with it since then, well, not as much as I'd like to talk about. For a while I would write letters or send cards to people at random that I knew.

For another while I purposefully went on everyone's Facebook profile and sent them a little note to wish them well for the day.

I have also sent emails or even just prayed for them.

But as of lately I haven't been doing any of these things. I find that today is a day to repent of this and work back toward that word the Lord gave me so long ago. His plans don't change, only mine do, and I pray for this word to continue to resonate through my heart for as long as it is beating.

Amen

Yielding to the Potter

Jeremiah 18:6New Living Translation (NLT)

⁶ “O Israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand."

In the Pastor's message last week called "Become Aware" he mentioned a good analogy stating, "Clay yields to the potter, it does not tell the potter how to form it." This struck me. I know that in my walk I often find times I want to take the wheel and "think" I am going the way I am supposed to, the way He wants me to but I have tricked myself into thinking that just because I go to church and believe I am going the right way, I am not allowing Him to work in me at all - not the way He wants to work in me.

Father help me to once again yield to you, help me to be moldable again. And when the time comes, just as the pot made of clay has a new form of use, help me to also be useful for your Glory. Amen.

Aspirations Redefined

Have you ever been asked some questions that you were thinking about days later? I mean life questions...questions that really get in your mind, you know? Recently I have been asked some very thought provoking questions. Questions I felt I already knew the answer to. So when asked it was simple. But after a while I realized these questions I had answers for were ones I didn't stop to think about.

As we were driving home from our Bible study my husband asks me, "What is your ministry?" I wondered why he asked me but then quickly responded, "Hospitality of course." The car got quiet and I found myself thinking, "Doesn't he remember that I take care of the coffee and cleaning ministries at our church?" Then it occurred to me to remind him that I like to write and assumed he knew what I meant by it.

He then went on with an analogy about people being like light bulbs. There are those that are used to their fullest potential in ministry, therefore are putting out 100 watts of light. But then there are those that are serving because either they don't know where their ministry is or there is no one else to fill the need and they are giving off only 60 watts.

I agreed that is it obvious that we all have our specific talents and then me being the way I am didn't feel the need to discuss anything further. But it got me to thinking...of course. I started trying to identify if I knew what my talents really were. Thinking back I remembered that I have always been given the word "encourage" when praying about what  God's will is in my life. But is this considered a "ministry?"

After getting this word I started studying Scripture and ow use these verses to help guide me when I feel lost in my walk forgetting what God's will for me is or moreso how to use it.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

Romans 12:6-8 "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully."

Days passed and I had been thinking about this for some time and I spurted out to my husband, "I'd like to write devotionals." By that time he had no idea what I was referring to and he gave me a funny look. Although it seemed there wasn't any meaning to my answer to him any longer, for me there was and still is.

A few days later my daughter and I were driving home from church and out of the blue she asked me what the one thing was I wanted to accomplish on earth..."To write and publish a book," I told her. It came out just as easy as it sounded, after all it has been my answer for a long time. And after I told her this my mind was brought back to that question my husband asked and I have been thinking about it ever since.

I have always had it on my heart to write a book, but never thought of the things I like to do as a "ministry." I know one of my strongest gifts is writing but what I like to write is more like pondering on paper as if in a journal. I thought in the past I could write articles for magazines or just try to blog to send my written heart out through the web, but it never donned on me until now that Devotions are a form of ministry. I like to post short excerpts from my heart as they come to me - isn't this a kind of devotion? Does anyone enjoy reading this type of reading? I don't know but it is who I am and if I enjoy reading from people's hearts then I am sure there are others do too.

I love thought provoking material whether that be in movies, books, live entertainment, or just simple conversations. I know that our thoughts change and form our actions and character and I know that as my walk develops I find the desire to be a vessel for Jesus' church and to share with others so that they too are provoked to thinking, seeking, and finding answers that help them with their own walk. I pray for this growth to continue...

Lord you are the potter and I am the clay - I love that your mysteries are so living and real that there is never any end to them. Thank you for giving me a mind to ponder and to grow and to learn every day. You are so awesome in all that you do and I love you. I pray that I will strive to serve you with my time and writing as I grow in becoming part of your ministry for others. I pray that someday my dreams will be fulfilled and carried out so that I can be 100 watts of light for you. Amen.

Your Creation

Psalm 139:17-18

Dear Lord, 

I love to ponder Your creation. This earth I stand on. This earth that You created. How precious is all Your Creation! Everything is handcrafted with Your care. The thought You put into everything. The thought You put into me.

My memories as a child take me back to many instances where Your presence was with me. I didn't now You then as I do now, yet I knew You were there. There is one particular day that has been on my mind as of late and I am inspired to share it here...

As far back as I can remember, I enjoyed playing outside no matter the weather - each day was a new experience. I grew up in a home with an acre of land full of grass, plants, and trees. My father had a beautiful garden and pasture. Oh how I loved spending time alone there. There was always so many things to explore in my surrounding world - the colors - the textures - the sounds - the smells. And my thoughts Lord, I loved thinking so many things about them.

On this particular day, I was probably 5 years old, I really don't know, but I recall playing in the summer shade with the cool, silky, soil in my bare toes. I was hiding in the tall grape vines and pretending I was in another land. I remember pausing as I felt You there with me and in that moment I realized that this place I was in, this place called earth, was full of life! 

I then paid attention watching every detail with my eyes and how intricate everything became to me. It was as if You curled the tendril vines around Your very fingers at each end drawing them where they were supposed to go. 

I was amazed at the vast amount of branches that You orchestrated into a magnificent trellis around the structure they were given and how their life was engulfed into providing strength for the yielding fruit to come.

The large leaves woven with Your hands, were jagged and vibrant green, rough, yet soft and velvety to the touch.

I then turned to the grapes deep with this color called purple and noticed how each one of them donned such beautiful frosty bloom. As I touched them to feel their skin, my fingerprints were left behind imprinted on their being. 

The smell You gave them was so new and intriguing to my senses that I needed to know what was on the inside. So I borrowed just one and as I opened it I found seeds tucked in green flesh, not at all what I expected. I thought maybe they weren't ready yet, that I had picked this one too soon. 

The taste was not becoming to me with my sour face turned in. This was not the way I knew grapes to taste. "Shouldn't they be sweet?" I thought. And after removing the bitter pulp I still found the experience of Your creation in them more intriguing to me than the jam I helped Mom to preserve in those Mason jars the year before.

I love hiding there in our secret places Lord. Oh Lord, how I love to ponder on all Your creation! I am in awe of You! I love the thought You put into these beautiful gifts for us here on earth so much so that it does not enter my mind what You have in store for me in heaven!

Romans 1:20 " For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse."

Conversing with God

It has been a month since I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Hypermobility Syndrome. This last month hasn't been too bad pain wise and now that I have answers I think there has been less stress - which is a common trigger for FM. It has been an agonizing year and a half to say the least of not knowing why I was hurting the way I was or how to communicate it to people without getting a lot of unwanted advice. But here I am today and have decided to just be positive. Of course this is always easier when the pain is minimal.

But what I want to focus on more than anything is how much I love our God, how amazing He is to love us. This morning I was contemplating with the Lord on my trust in Him. That why whether or not I feel people think I am crazy for not trying the latest and newest prescriptions for my condition should matter. Do I really trust in Him and if I do why am I stopping myself from telling them that He is part of my life in this and in everything? Is He part of every bit of my life or do I just like to think so?

The scripture hits me hard, "Matt 10:33 But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." - I then admit to my Father I realize I have denied Him so by not professing His name out loud when I share my hope and feelings. That I have kept Him hidden and only sharing bits and pieces. Sure people know I am Christian but I am I bringing Christ to them? I'm pretty good at expressing all my love to Him personally and quietly in prayer or in a blog but when will I grow outwardly in my expression? When will these thoughts and feelings from my heart grow on the outside for all to really hear and see? Yes, I've been pondering this one a while now and today I realized it really does matter to be bold.

So as I was thinking this I was prompted to ask myself, "When people ask me how I am treating my FM do I give them the answer based on what they think? On who they are or what they do or don't believe in?" I then confess to Him that yes, I have been. That to those I know in the Church I tell them with vitamins/supplements, sleeping techniques and of course relying on the Lord. But yet when someone else asks me I tell them the same but leaving the last part out and replacing it with "for personal reasons." 

"Am I really relying on the Lord?" I thought. Then I asked the Father to help me be honest and if I am not trusting in Him to help me grow bold enough to talk about Him to those that may not know Him and to grow my faith into trust. I still remember His words not too long ago when He said "We will walk you through this..." - and I know my loving Father in Heaven that if I am not bold now He will teach me to become bold.

I love it when I have a conversation with the Lord and then later something pops up in relation to what I have been discussing with Him. He is so awesome in His timing that today at lunch and after all I had conversed with Him this morning the conversation came back all over again as if He was sharing with me personally. It happened when I began reading the weekly Pentecostal Evangel magazine. The first page began an introduction to articles of people with chronic pain or illnesses and their testimonies concerning relying on the Lord and how they were healed because of their faith in Jesus.

And I just smiled as I knew the Lord was still conversing with me...walking me through. Just as He promised.

Fruitful Thinking

After what has been the longest winter ever I take time to notice God's creations all around me. I notice more and more lately dormant life beginning to emerge from the frozen canvas when spring is abound. The chirps of birds begin again, squirrel tails are hopping in the park again, and soon the colors will bring life to my eyes.

Even indoors I start to take notice of life God has given. For example, the bowl of fruit on my kitchen counter. Sure I keep a bowl out for my family for a healthy snack but mostly I love how it brings my kitchen alive. The other day it occurred to me how beautiful each piece of fruit is. How unique each one's shape, color, and taste are. How much thought God put into them for us. I then pondered how grateful I am to have them available at any time whether they are in season or not. That even though there is no grass growing until spring, I can still be blessed with God's abundance today! 

And of course during all this I was reminded of The Fruit of the Spirit. You and I have this fruit available any time - even if we haven't matured or grown in one fruit over another. It is still there in season or not. If I have Love, then I am more capable of producing Patience, if I have Patience and Love then I am grown to naturally produce Kindness. If I have one fruit the season is bound to bloom for another in time. 

As long as I am seeking life in the world's dark canvas, I will always find God's blessings. I pray you are seeking for the same.

On Thanksgiving...

When most people are asked what their favorite holiday is Thanksgiving is usually not the at the top. For me it is and always has been. I love Thanksgiving!

Thinking back a few years or more the reasons I remember loving it was for the time with family and the food and the memories I think I loved about it. As I have gotten older there are much more precious things that my heart takes notice of.

There is just something about giving thanks for all our wonderful blessings that fill my heart with joy and love. I try and be thankful each day of the year, but when everyone around you in this world is giving thanks in abundance at once this time of year there is no denying the love of Christ that draws near to us all.

As I see people post things on the Internet about what they are thankful for each day it reminds me that I too would like to show where I give thanks. I thought about doing something daily but to me that doesn't just seem like enough. This week at Sunday School I really found so much speaking to me that I want to just ponder on it more and felt led to share it. I love God's word for this. It is always renewing and refreshing my soul...just when I need it most.

In the Bible you have probably heard it said in James 4:8 "Draw near to God and God will draw near to you." (which is by the way one of my new favorite passages) but did you know that in John 15:4 Jesus says to His disciples, "Remain in me as I also remain in you?" I'm sure I've read it before but never heard it to the point where it is really being written on my heart. Paralleling these two phrases together shows that Father God draws us near and Jesus is what keeps us there. He never leaves. We are a dwelling where God lives by His Spirit! (Ephesians 2:22)

Sometimes I catch myself reading backwards. At John 15:3 Jesus tells His disciples that they are already clean because of the word he has spoken to them. Isn't it awesome that God's words cleanse us? There was a point and time in my walk that I was surrounded by Christians that were reciting Bible verses in response to some of my questions. I never understood how they remembered them until now that I have had my own experiences in God teaching me through His word.

As a growing Christian I am so thankful for God's word. It is one of the many keys to a growing relationship with Jesus and speaks truth and love.

Cleaning Day

Before I began my house cleaning today I opened the windows to let the fresh air and morning light in. As I started I became overwhelmed to see how much dirt was lurking in my house! Oh I knew it was there but not until seeing it I didn't realize how bad it was. It then occurred to me that without the fresh sunlight shining in through the windows I never wanted to really do anything about it. Out of sight out of mind have you but nonetheless still there.

My house is naturally dark, there are a lot of windows but there is also a lot of shade so not a lot of light shines through except in the mornings and I am rarely up as early on the weekends as I was today.

Later on as I was mopping I was reminded that in my own life I have a lot of dirt hiding in corners of my heart as well as in my thinking and my actions. I know these things are there but without Christ's light I do not see them enough to want to do anything about them. Deep strongholds have created so much dust and dirt over the years I am in need of cleansing so that I may be a better representative of Christ's love. I am so grateful to have the light shine in my darkness so that I may see and ask for the Lord's helping hand in cleansing my heart.

Did you know that the word heart is mentioned over 800 times in the Bible? It is a pretty important part of our lives that don't you think we should keep them cleaned? I know for me it is pretty important.

Psalm 51:10 KJV

¹⁰ Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Come to Me

I can still hear Him say,

"Come to Me."

Even though it was 3 years ago, I can still remember where I was, what I was thinking (which occurred to me later that I wasn't thinking, but was praying) and how His voice echoed in my heart as it still does to this day when he spoke those three words to me. So I asked Him, "How?"

I did not get my answer right away but from time to time I would ask Jesus, "I know you say to 'Come to Me', but how? How do I come to you?" And the thought of prayer occurred to me and I didn't do much other than acknowledge to myself that yes, prayer was how. After all, what else was there? And I left it at that and didn't seem to continue to pursue it any longer until I had struggles of course.

You see my whole prayer life has been only when I struggled, I didn't know how to pray at any other time other than when I was at my wit's end. So naturally this is why His timing seems so slow. It is because I have been slow in understanding His encompassing love and how to relate and converse with him in all things.

After this when praying I heard him speak, "I will show you," and "I will teach you." These words would burn deep in my heart and echo back to me when I had struggles, but yet I didn't even ask "How? How will you teach me and how will you show me?" any longer. I simply knew He would knowing all the answers were there in the Bible and seemed to be content with leaving it at that.

Then one night I was dreaming a vision of me in the front room of our house, and there sitting was a Bible wide open and the only words I could see plain as day in all capital letters were, "YOU WILL SEE" - and at the moment I read these words it was His voice speaking to me just as loud as if I were awake. No sooner than I read this, I quickly woke up and new God was confirming to me. But being in the flesh I thought, "Okay, someday I guess," and then the next day didn't think much of it since I didn't see any results and didn't take it too seriously.

Again another "my timing not His" and now hindsight is 20/20. God has His way of leading us to places we don't understand about until later....at least not for me. Is it just me that always seems to "get it" after the fact? So that brings me to where I am now in my walk...

We have been attending a new church for the last year and prayer and praying in the Spirit are something God wanted to show me through a Spirit filled church. I had no idea prayer could be so fulfilling on a daily basis. Most of all my other prayers in my life I didn't know how to tune in spiritually so as to hear and be comforted so quickly by the Spirit - let alone finding that others' prayers hit spot on without my telling them of things I needed prayer about. The true work of the Spirit is stronger than I ever have known and while it is something I am not used to, I am however very excited about growing it!

My prayer language has never really been developed. Its only been since January since I've been baptized by the Holy Spirit and even since then time spent with God praying in the Spirit is one that I knew was important but I didn't really make time for - I was listening to so many lies that praying was selfish.

I always knew the way to "come to Him" was through prayer but I never seemed to understand much more than that. Now I am learning in a much deeper way how to walk with Him by being able to "come to Him" -  and now I must continue to learn so that I may follow him as he says to me today, "Come to Me before you do anything."

He promised he would show me, and to teach to me, and while it isn't in the time I'd like it to be, it is something precious to know that He always keeps His word. I have not arrived at perfection by any means, but I can come to Him in a much deeper relationship than I had before - through Spirit, Son, and Father.

Thinking too much

This year we had a series of sermons of why we are here on the Earth.

Pharisees asked Jesus what one of the commandments are the greatest?

To love the lord your God with all your Might, Mind, Strength and Heart - he replied.

I can relate to the sermon that focused on our mind.

Since I am a big thinker and have always been told I think too much I of course really responded to this with what else but a lot of thinking.

I don't think thinking too much is problematic - it is very productive in fact. It causes a person to seek answers to questions they have. To ponder on things at all perspectives. And more so to develop a response to something that someone might not otherwise acknowledge.

To think is great, but what you do with your thinking is even more important.

If I don't put my thoughts on paper they seem to live in my head and have no fruit. What good is that? However I also tend to write my thoughts more so than I do to speak them. Someday I'd like to have both intellect and dialect occurring at the same time.

For now my blog will be full of many thoughts and I pray they will be fruitful and read some day if not today.

Riding a Bike

I read something the other day in a book by Cherie Hill...that our walk with God is like learning to ride a bike.

"It’s like a parent teaching their child to ride a bike. In the beginning, they walk or run beside them; holding on to them, talking them through the process, and preventing them from falling. They’re working to build their confidence. But, at some point, the parent lets go. It’s not that the parent doesn’t care or isn’t there, it’s that they know they’ve shown their child how it’s done; in their wisdom, they know it’s time for the child to practice what they’ve been taught. So, God’s silence, at times, is preparing us for the road ahead. He’s building our commitment and perseverance. And through the test, those things that we’re trusting more than Him will be revealed. He knows that if we’re going to journey with Him, we’re in for the ride of our life, and we will need to have the faith that “doesn’t believe without proof, but trusts without reservation” (D. Elton Trueblood)."
Hill, Cherie (2012-08-17). WAITING on GOD (p. 18).  . Kindle Edition.

I really liked this analogy. I remember how scared I was when learning to ride my bike, in fact I even put it off for quite some time. Even today I get scared off and on, but I know if I fall the best thing to do is to get right back on.

In his eyes...

The day started like any other day...being that it was Friday and the end of another work week there is always something to smile about. The weather here was still cold and wintry but since everywhere else on the map outside of Wisconsin was going through the same thing I didn't feel so bad.

As the day approached I had made plans to hit up the grocery store after getting home from work. Savannah and daddy had a father daughter dance to attend so I thought I'd make good use of the time and get some shopping done to eliminate one of many chores for the weekend. I also found it exciting to have a couple hours to myself uninterrupted and because of this I tried to think of something to do for just me.

Since I have recently been redoing the theme in my kitchen my mind has been preoccupied non-stop to look at every store I shop at to see if I could find any hidden treasures to add to my collection. It occurred to me that since we've moved out here I have not once shopped at a Goodwill. "What a great idea," I thought and in that same moment I remembered that I also needed to drop off a bag I had in the back of the car for a while of old clothes and some wall hangings. How cool was that I could take care of another chore and hadn't even planned to.

And there he was. On the corner of Main and Pecan street across from the Goodwill. I saw him standing there with his cardboard sign that said, "Homeless. Anything helps." He was an older man from what I could see. He looked cold and like he'd been there a while. I turned the corner and tried to catch sight of him in the rear view mirror to make sure I really saw him and didn't just imagine it. Most folks I see on the side of the road like this I don't look twice at but this one was different.

I parked my car in the Goodwill drop off area, handed the gentleman my bag and stood outside the car to wait for my receipt. The relentless wind had become flurries of snowfall and as I waited I began to feel worried and kept peering over to that intersection to see if the man was still there or if he left because of the weather.

I went inside found some wall hangings that I fell in love with and hurried out the door. As I drove across the street where I was planning on shopping I glanced over at him again and I knew I needed to do something, but what? I didn't have any cash, I found out while making my purchase at Goodwill that I had left my debit card at home by mistake...so what could I do? Then it hit me..if I was hungry then he must have been hungrier. I stopped to get myself something to eat using my spare credit card but added an extra meal onto the ticket. I remember trying to decide what to get him, what would he be hungry for? Then it donned on me that unlike me, he doesn't have the privilege to make choices like I do for what I want and don't want to eat.

I tried to tell myself that I would wait to give him the food after I did my grocery shopping, if he was still there when I drove back past the intersection. If he wasn't I was sure my son would eat the food later that night. Then I felt a silence come over me. No, I thought. I need to take this to him now. No being scared like the last time. I can do all things through Christ.

I quickly ordered and anticipated getting back to that corner of the intersection, planned where I would park to make sure I was out of the way of traffic. I prayed to the Lord to help me the whole time and wasn't sure what I was going to say but yet I didn't feel at lack either.

I parked the car, checked traffic, grabbed the food and quickly walked up to him. He saw me coming but he didn't look to see what I had, he just looked me straight in the eyes. As I approached him I noticed his face was red, his skin was weathered, he had shoulder length white hair, and he was wearing a long winter coat that wasn't buttoned up. I got closer and as I did I will never forget how sad his pale blue eyes looked as they reflected off of mine. He took off his gloves, took the bag of food and I remember saying, "It's cold out here, you should have some dinner. God bless you," and he returned a genuine "God bless you" to me and finished with a "Thank you."

I quickly walked to my car in the wind and noticed the driver of the car passing me by turned to look back at me. I drove back into traffic and was so flourished in the Spirit that I almost ran a stop sign. After I made it to the grocery store I ate my own dinner in the parking lot and thanked God. I felt as if people were staring at me knowing what I did, but I didn't care, it wasn't between them and me it was between me, Jesus, and the homeless man.

As I drove home from grocery shopping that night the sun was setting and I remember feeling bummed out because I had spent more than anticipated. Just as quickly as I thought this I passed that intersection and the homeless man was gone. In that same instant I felt so awful for feeling sorry for myself about what I just spent when he was probably trying to find somewhere to sleep for the night. I started weeping and couldn't stop - not even after I got home.

My heart broke that night and Jesus walked with me right through it all teaching me His way. I will never be the same because of it.

God Jealous?

Being what I consider a new Christian I have pondered God being a jealous God. I thought about it and couldn't understand how He could be jealous? Isn't He perfect? Aren't we taught to not be jealous? It was one thing I hadn't ever understood in the past 4 1/2 years in my relationship with the Lord. Until now.

So long ago I let it go but when it came up again the other day in conversation I found it interestingly enough a few days later the subject came up in church in a lesson. And WHAM. It hit me. I love how the Word of God does that! It just slaps me in the face and I know exactly what the truth is. No more disillusionment. This is evidence of the Holy Spirit that is at work in my life. He knows when I am pondering questions and seeking the truth and gives it to me just at the right time. Understanding the Word is a great gift of the Spirit and only by believing and accepting Christ does it come.

The Merriam Webster dictionary explains the word "Jealous" with the following definitions:

1a: intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness

 

 b: disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness

 

2: hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage

3: vigilant in guarding a possession

 

God has every right to be jealous when we are unfaithful to Him - He created us and wants to keep us as His children. Interesting how now something that was thought to be so bad is now a precious gift? That you and I are possessions of God.

 

Think of a time you felt jealous. It is a strong feeling and it is because you deeply care about someone and the thought of losing them hurts so much inside it can stir a bit of anger. Isn't that awesome that he loves us so much to feel this way about us when we choose to follow a path away from him? To know that He hurts and has a desire for us speaks strongly to my heart.

 

I don't know about you but it makes me want to be all the more close to Him.