Thursday, July 2, 2009

Personal Road Construction....Look for the Detour Signs

Life is like a series of roads. You are driving along enjoying the view. Sometimes you get a flat tire, sometimes you hit road construction. Every day this summer I have had to take a detour away from the construction. Without the detour my drive would be frustrating and much longer. My goal is to get home, but constructively. Sounds a lot like life, doesn't it?

Yesterday morning on the way to work I was listening to the daily radio program called Running to Win. Pastor Lutzer stated in his message of how Satan makes sin attractive in order to break fellowship with God. Therefore we must remove whatever is keeping us from growing in Christ.

The hardest part for me about this has been identifying what influences in my life are keeping me from becoming close to God. It isn't so much that they are hard to identify than it is that I am often in denial about being influenced. Now that I am aware of what they are I am finding how much these influences are around me and my family and their abundance. I thought I was the one that had the power to ignore these influences but now without the gift of the spirit I know I am powerless.

The Pastor told of a lady who was living with her boyfriend. She decided to start walking in the truth and asked him to leave so that they would not be committing sin any longer. He would not leave. She eventually had to force him out with the authority of the police. Turned out that she and he didn't stay together and that it was for the better.

I have a good friend that I think my detours are affecting the most. My changing that is. Not because of anything she did, but because of a lot of stuff we did together. About 3 years worth that is. The stuff we were doing together was sinful in nature and I am trying to forgive myself for allowing it to go on so long. We weren't very good influences for each other and we both knew it. So many times I was given promptings to be the example but didn't have the strength to do it alone and gave into the enemy. After a few years I found God for help but am still not sure how to be an example without letting the past get in the way. I have become bitter about it and toward her, which is not right. I was the one that did not set boundaries so how can I blame anyone else for what happened?

I have had to ask for some space in order to reconcile these feelings and also hope that after some time passes we can start a new relationship and have forgotten the old. I believe God put her in my life for a reason and thoughts of her are on my mind constantly. I pray that we will remain friends and that I learn to be strong with God's will.

Satan doesn't care where he goes from one place to the next. I need to stay where I know is safe and where I am led by the Spirit. If I were to keep doing what I've done, I'll keep getting what I get. So I have chosen to take a detour and hope to meet my friend in a new spirit without negative feelings I have been harboring. I pray the Lord will cleanse me and fill me with love to as I am learning so that I may continue grow and be the person, mother, wife, and friend I desire to be.

Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.
~ Colossians 1:10, NLT

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading your Blog today. I find it hard to spend a lot of time with my friends who haven't accepted Jesus yet. After 10 years, it's getting easier; I do a lot more praying!! :)

Tulabell said...

Found a good reference to what I was feeling in this relationship. "The problem was they were stagnant, yet having more influence over me than I over them so neither one of us were growing. I enjoyed their company but it was more of a guilty pleasure and I sensed God leading me to let that go."

http://rachelolsen.blogspot.com/2009/07/woman-friend-or-foe.html