On Music...

I am a big thinker. As if you cannot tell. I like to listen to music that makes me think, makes me recall events, makes me ponder. Ever heard a song on the radio that totally fits you to a T? Here's one I've been hearing lately that does me - makes me think back over the past two years as I have come to know know Jesus.

"Born Again" performed by the Newsboys.

I found myself looking into the mirrior

Knew I wasn't who I wanted to be

I was living like the way that I wanted

But my eyes reminded me I'm not free.

Believed that I saw everything that I know

Says I got to go, tired of going solo

But I'm never gonna go there again.

This is what it is

This is who I am

This is where I finally take my stand

I didnt want to fall

But I don't have to crawl

I'm not the One with two scarred hands

Giving him the best of everything thats left of

The life inside this man

I've been Born Again

I see you walking like your living in fear

Having trouble even looking at me

Wishin they would give you more than words

Sick of people telling how it should be (how it should be)

Whats your download, where'd you get your info,
you saw that I'm show now your in the inload

Gonna tell you what I believe

This is what it is

This is who I am

This is where I finally take my stand

I didnt want to fall

But I don't have to crawl

I'm not the One with two scarred hands

Giving him the best of everything thats left of

The life inside this man

I've been Born Again

We are the ones they call by name

(I'm never gonna look back)

Let go let go the guilt the shame

(Said I'm never gonna look back)

This is who I am

This is what it is

This is who I am

This is where I finally take my stand

I didnt want to fall

But I don't have to crawl

I'm not the One with two scarred hands

Giving him the best of everything thats left of

The life inside this man

I've been Born Again

Fine Tuning

Do you ever have one of those sleepless nights? Or two or three? How about two or three in a row? As soon as you lay your head down to sleep the noise begins?

I have been battling a bit of insomnia I'm afraid. I am sure a lot of it is due to my husband being away and my sleeping without him, but nonetheless it is mainly due to my allowing the enemy in to distract me with worry and try to rob me of the faith and trust I have in the Lord for the answers to prayers I've been seeking from Him.

Not sleeping, my head became like a communication tower moving large amounts of sporadic information through the air. It was as if my thoughts, or worries rather, came and went in the same manner my daughter tries to tune into her radio. I am sure you all know what that sounds like. A mess!

Unlike the radio in the car that has programmed digital tuning, my daughter doesn't understand that to find something she desires the dial must be moved slowly. Like her moving the dial back and forth, my mind was racing through the channels so fast that I was unable to process anything.

One of my favorite scriptures I would normally rehearse to myself of during a time like this is Philippians 4:6, NLT - "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done."

I didn't, however, remember to recite this verse at the time. I was too caught up in the moment to even allow God to intervene. I allowed Satan to turn my intentions to pray into worry. I have always worried a lot as I am a deep thinker and everything filters when all is quiet around. But it has been a long time since I've done this - especially since I've learned how to commune with God. I am learning that while the Lord is in my heart I will find a constant battle with Satan who tries to get in my head to make me an ineffective Christian. Spiritual warfare has been quite a battle for me lately. The enemy knows when to get me and that is when I am tired! But I will not give up! I do trust the Lord and I am very grateful!

I find my communion with the Lord like the example of my daughter learning to tune her radio slowly to find clear connections. My conclusion is that in order to slow down and tune in, the key is keeping on top of the Word to prepare battles with the enemy in just the same manner Jesus did while tempted out in the desert. His response to the enemy's schemes were, "It is written" - what a great example He has given me! My goal this summer is to begin memorizing verses for this very reason. Before I was following I didn't understand the importance of memorizing verses but now I do!

In addition to "fine tuning" my communion, my daughter's radio has other lessons to teach me. She and I have both noticed that when I am helping her to tune the radio to find a station with good reception the reception becomes lost when I step away. I am sure this is due to the broken antenna, so I tell her to simply keep the radio close to her and it will work the way it is supposed to. The same is true for keeping myself close to God - I too am broken and need a Savior.

Through these sleepless nights I am reminded yet again of the importance of why I must remain close to the Lord and take the time to slowly move through the channels to find His answers and guidance. I am left with this reflection today and praying to the Lord to help me be patient to be slow and to tuning to His channel and to keep Him near granting me His graceful peace...and rest!

Oh to be little again.

Matthew 18:3

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

Summer time brings so many memories of my childhood. The smell of dirt, the fresh produce, the grass, the water, the sun. the rain, and most of all the sense of freedom.

So I was going through some old pictures this afternoon and came across this one from a few years back during our Oregon vacation. I can't believe how my daughter, Savannah, has grown!

In looking through pictures of my daughter and comparing how much she has grown I was reminded about how the Lord asks us to be like little children. This raised the same old question, "Why?" Why does he want us to be like little children? Then I turn back to my memory and reflect on the qualities of youth - energetic, free , non-judgemental, & loving all that surrounds them. Of course! Children are such a great example of all of Christ's qualities. How I long to have those days back when life didn't have temptations or trials but know if I keep on the right path I will have this freedom again. Eternally.

Now that I too have grown, just as my daughter has, I must make the effort to remember to be a child. To think of how good it feels to run in the sand and water and how the immense ocean makes me feel so insignificant yet so significant all at the same time. This is because I know He loves me and I am his child.

Speaking of the ocean, I was recently viewing pictures on CNN and instead of seeing all bad, I see good. I see the people that are working so diligently to clean it up. There is so many of them! I see the people that are taking good care of the animals who have been affected by the spill. I think it pleases God that there are those that show so much care and concern for His creation that we don't want to lose it. All in all it is always His plan that these things happen in that we, His children, may grow and seek Him. Earth is a tangible thing...hard to reconcile that we may be here today and gone tomorrow, but when things like this happen it really increases my testimony of how He is moving and encourages me to truly seek Him.

So to be a child again. I shall not worry for I am covered with Christ's blood. When in this state of mind and spiritual meditation I, like a child, don't know of the worries of the world. We only see good through children's eyes and we are free. We can still be free today and I praise the Lord for His wise instruction - reminding us of who we are - His children!

Yes, all this from one picture.