After a long day of work, I listen to the Christian radio station KEYY and KLove to absorb what I can to feed my spirit. It's usually the only alone and awake time I get to myself these days, and so I try and make the most of my time.
The rain has been excessive these past few weeks but it has made the earth so vibrant and beautiful. While I hate driving home that long drive, I enjoy the view. God has created such a lovely place for us to live. The clouds that sit atop the flowing green hills, the sun that peeks through the bold clouds show their bright, strong rays as pointing out each landmark to me personally. And then there's the smell. Nothing compares, nothing but the rainbow amongst all this scenery.
The most awesome experience was over the weekend, when my daughter commented on the beautiful rainbow that was arched atop our neighborhood over the weekend. She said with all her innocence, "Does God live in the rainbow?" It was then that my husband was quick to answer her question with such a sweet tone in his voice that I don't hear very often, "It's God's promise to us to never let the earth flood again."
While Savannah looked confused at him as if to say, 'Isn't that just what I said?' my heart was instantly warmed and I felt God's arms wrap around our little family just then. We looked out the window a moment later and it was gone. I just smiled.
It's times like these that I cherish in my heart and I use to remind myself when I am not feeling so spiritually uplifted. Since God plants rainbows in the sky after a storm, why wouldn't he in our hearts?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Melancholy
Feeling melancholy today after the storm hit and am now waiting for it to pass. We were robbed yesterday - our basement window broke into. And yet there is something more to be seen here. I got a comment on a previous blog about my being spiritually thirsty and feeling the Spirit has left me. Now I realize I have never been without the Holy Spirit as I "thought" I was and was probably tricked many times He was not near.
Being melancholy due to what happened gets me to thinking of the good things. I am grateful I have what I do and am not without as others are, I am grateful that the situation wasn't worse, that my family wasn't hurt. If I look for bad, I'll find it, so I choose to be grateful regardless of the turmoil of broken windows and money that needs replaced. I hate to admit I went to bed last night irritated with my husband and how he is reacting and he irritated by me, but when I woke up this morning the Spirit reminded me of love, so I put all irritability of the situation aside and gave my husband a soft gesture to show him how I feel and that it is not us we are irritated at. Now what remains in me is trying to consume that a person has an inkling of desire to do this to someone else, how could they? Is it that I don't understand it because I don't ever have the desire to steal? This is the pain that I feel. So I'm left to imagine comparing my pain to Jesus' as he carried sin on that cross of his. The amount of one sin of one person who burglarized our home and times that by, oh I don't know, a gazillion? Now how does a mind consume that? It doesn't, it accepts it and tells the heart you are loved. Now for this I am grateful.
Being melancholy due to what happened gets me to thinking of the good things. I am grateful I have what I do and am not without as others are, I am grateful that the situation wasn't worse, that my family wasn't hurt. If I look for bad, I'll find it, so I choose to be grateful regardless of the turmoil of broken windows and money that needs replaced. I hate to admit I went to bed last night irritated with my husband and how he is reacting and he irritated by me, but when I woke up this morning the Spirit reminded me of love, so I put all irritability of the situation aside and gave my husband a soft gesture to show him how I feel and that it is not us we are irritated at. Now what remains in me is trying to consume that a person has an inkling of desire to do this to someone else, how could they? Is it that I don't understand it because I don't ever have the desire to steal? This is the pain that I feel. So I'm left to imagine comparing my pain to Jesus' as he carried sin on that cross of his. The amount of one sin of one person who burglarized our home and times that by, oh I don't know, a gazillion? Now how does a mind consume that? It doesn't, it accepts it and tells the heart you are loved. Now for this I am grateful.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Hurry up & Wait
Today's sermon really has answered a lot of my recent questinos. Pastor pointed out that while we often pray, do we know why many prayers weren't answered? Did we pray with a full heart, did we not listen, did we not pray enough, did we not like the answer recieved? I often ask this of myself and know I am guilty of it all. While Christianity has in the past been perceived to me as acting in Jesus' example, I now know that the real key is the spiritual exercise we must endure in order to be so.
Romans 5:3-4 "3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."
So while I continue to learn to have joy in trials - and feel I have had a lot of practice in my life, I ask myself, "How do I have joy outside of suffering? How do I keep the spirit inside me alive and well when I am not without?"
I've been longing to receive the help of the Holy Spirit for the last few weeks now and during this sermon was reminded once again of what I need to do and that I am not practicing my perseverance as well as I do when I am in trial. My answer is always the same. Read. Pray. Obey. And yet I still want to hurry up and wait for things to happen. But for what? For big promptings like they were during my last trial? For the intense conversations with God? And when I don't see or hear anything, I stop listening, stop praying, I am swayed by every other distraction there is and lose sight. And what else am I doing? Nothing.
Pastor challenged us today. To read from the Bible and to do this in a year. I have not ever read the complete Bible. I have started but never finished. Knowing that others are going to do it along side me, this shall be fun. I know the Bible is a living book and that when I read it I am shown so much - and so why do I choose to hurry up and wait for the spirit, when He is probably the one waiting for me.
This is why I love going to church. I love the energy that is charged within me when I leave. The challenge. The spirit. While it can't be my only feeding ground for my Christianity, it plays a big part on how my week goes. It allows me to get insight and feedback from others who are also practicing Christians and it is an awesome experience to grow and have family there. But most of all it reminds me of what I need to do other than on Sunday. To be a true Christian, not a Sunday Christian or Easter/Christmas Christian, but an every day one. That is my goal.
Thank you Lord for the trials in my life that have taught me perseverance. Thank you for the promptings I have received from you this past week to make the right choices and by your grace allowing me to me to "hurry up" and respond to your promptings rather than wait a moment longer and let the enemy take over. Thank you for you Lord, for your son, without you I am weak flesh. I pray that you will help me to read your word this week. Please forgive me of my sins and cpontinue show me how to walk in your light. For I know you will send the Holy Spirit to me when I am ready, whether it be for guidance or direction to a trial or to everyday love of my neighbor. I know there is purpose for waiting, and I still persevere, but it is through you that I do - through your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
Romans 5:3-4 "3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."
So while I continue to learn to have joy in trials - and feel I have had a lot of practice in my life, I ask myself, "How do I have joy outside of suffering? How do I keep the spirit inside me alive and well when I am not without?"
I've been longing to receive the help of the Holy Spirit for the last few weeks now and during this sermon was reminded once again of what I need to do and that I am not practicing my perseverance as well as I do when I am in trial. My answer is always the same. Read. Pray. Obey. And yet I still want to hurry up and wait for things to happen. But for what? For big promptings like they were during my last trial? For the intense conversations with God? And when I don't see or hear anything, I stop listening, stop praying, I am swayed by every other distraction there is and lose sight. And what else am I doing? Nothing.
Pastor challenged us today. To read from the Bible and to do this in a year. I have not ever read the complete Bible. I have started but never finished. Knowing that others are going to do it along side me, this shall be fun. I know the Bible is a living book and that when I read it I am shown so much - and so why do I choose to hurry up and wait for the spirit, when He is probably the one waiting for me.
This is why I love going to church. I love the energy that is charged within me when I leave. The challenge. The spirit. While it can't be my only feeding ground for my Christianity, it plays a big part on how my week goes. It allows me to get insight and feedback from others who are also practicing Christians and it is an awesome experience to grow and have family there. But most of all it reminds me of what I need to do other than on Sunday. To be a true Christian, not a Sunday Christian or Easter/Christmas Christian, but an every day one. That is my goal.
Thank you Lord for the trials in my life that have taught me perseverance. Thank you for the promptings I have received from you this past week to make the right choices and by your grace allowing me to me to "hurry up" and respond to your promptings rather than wait a moment longer and let the enemy take over. Thank you for you Lord, for your son, without you I am weak flesh. I pray that you will help me to read your word this week. Please forgive me of my sins and cpontinue show me how to walk in your light. For I know you will send the Holy Spirit to me when I am ready, whether it be for guidance or direction to a trial or to everyday love of my neighbor. I know there is purpose for waiting, and I still persevere, but it is through you that I do - through your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
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