Melancholy

Feeling melancholy today after the storm hit and am now waiting for it to pass. We were robbed yesterday - our basement window broke into. And yet there is something more to be seen here. I got a comment on a previous blog about my being spiritually thirsty and feeling the Spirit has left me. Now I realize I have never been without the Holy Spirit as I "thought" I was and was probably tricked many times He was not near.

Being melancholy due to what happened gets me to thinking of the good things. I am grateful I have what I do and am not without as others are, I am grateful that the situation wasn't worse, that my family wasn't hurt. If I look for bad, I'll find it, so I choose to be grateful regardless of the turmoil of broken windows and money that needs replaced. I hate to admit I went to bed last night irritated with my husband and how he is reacting and he irritated by me, but when I woke up this morning the Spirit reminded me of love, so I put all irritability of the situation aside and gave my husband a soft gesture to show him how I feel and that it is not us we are irritated at. Now what remains in me is trying to consume that a person has an inkling of desire to do this to someone else, how could they? Is it that I don't understand it because I don't ever have the desire to steal? This is the pain that I feel. So I'm left to imagine comparing my pain to Jesus' as he carried sin on that cross of his. The amount of one sin of one person who burglarized our home and times that by, oh I don't know, a gazillion? Now how does a mind consume that? It doesn't, it accepts it and tells the heart you are loved. Now for this I am grateful.