Hurry up & Wait

Today's sermon really has answered a lot of my recent questinos. Pastor pointed out that while we often pray, do we know why many prayers weren't answered? Did we pray with a full heart, did we not listen, did we not pray enough, did we not like the answer recieved? I often ask this of myself and know I am guilty of it all. While Christianity has in the past been perceived to me as acting in Jesus' example, I now know that the real key is the spiritual exercise we must endure in order to be so.

Romans 5:3-4 "3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."

So while I continue to learn to have joy in trials - and feel I have had a lot of practice in my life, I ask myself, "How do I have joy outside of suffering? How do I keep the spirit inside me alive and well when I am not without?"

I've been longing to receive the help of the Holy Spirit for the last few weeks now and during this sermon was reminded once again of what I need to do and that I am not practicing my perseverance as well as I do when I am in trial. My answer is always the same. Read. Pray. Obey. And yet I still want to hurry up and wait for things to happen. But for what? For big promptings like they were during my last trial? For the intense conversations with God? And when I don't see or hear anything, I stop listening, stop praying, I am swayed by every other distraction there is and lose sight. And what else am I doing? Nothing.

Pastor challenged us today. To read from the Bible and to do this in a year. I have not ever read the complete Bible. I have started but never finished. Knowing that others are going to do it along side me, this shall be fun. I know the Bible is a living book and that when I read it I am shown so much - and so why do I choose to hurry up and wait for the spirit, when He is probably the one waiting for me.

This is why I love going to church. I love the energy that is charged within me when I leave. The challenge. The spirit. While it can't be my only feeding ground for my Christianity, it plays a big part on how my week goes. It allows me to get insight and feedback from others who are also practicing Christians and it is an awesome experience to grow and have family there. But most of all it reminds me of what I need to do other than on Sunday. To be a true Christian, not a Sunday Christian or Easter/Christmas Christian, but an every day one. That is my goal.

Thank you Lord for the trials in my life that have taught me perseverance. Thank you for the promptings I have received from you this past week to make the right choices and by your grace allowing me to me to "hurry up" and respond to your promptings rather than wait a moment longer and let the enemy take over. Thank you for you Lord, for your son, without you I am weak flesh. I pray that you will help me to read your word this week. Please forgive me of my sins and cpontinue show me how to walk in your light. For I know you will send the Holy Spirit to me when I am ready, whether it be for guidance or direction to a trial or to everyday love of my neighbor. I know there is purpose for waiting, and I still persevere, but it is through you that I do - through your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.