In his eyes...

The day started like any other day...being that it was Friday and the end of another work week there is always something to smile about. The weather here was still cold and wintry but since everywhere else on the map outside of Wisconsin was going through the same thing I didn't feel so bad.

As the day approached I had made plans to hit up the grocery store after getting home from work. Savannah and daddy had a father daughter dance to attend so I thought I'd make good use of the time and get some shopping done to eliminate one of many chores for the weekend. I also found it exciting to have a couple hours to myself uninterrupted and because of this I tried to think of something to do for just me.

Since I have recently been redoing the theme in my kitchen my mind has been preoccupied non-stop to look at every store I shop at to see if I could find any hidden treasures to add to my collection. It occurred to me that since we've moved out here I have not once shopped at a Goodwill. "What a great idea," I thought and in that same moment I remembered that I also needed to drop off a bag I had in the back of the car for a while of old clothes and some wall hangings. How cool was that I could take care of another chore and hadn't even planned to.

And there he was. On the corner of Main and Pecan street across from the Goodwill. I saw him standing there with his cardboard sign that said, "Homeless. Anything helps." He was an older man from what I could see. He looked cold and like he'd been there a while. I turned the corner and tried to catch sight of him in the rear view mirror to make sure I really saw him and didn't just imagine it. Most folks I see on the side of the road like this I don't look twice at but this one was different.

I parked my car in the Goodwill drop off area, handed the gentleman my bag and stood outside the car to wait for my receipt. The relentless wind had become flurries of snowfall and as I waited I began to feel worried and kept peering over to that intersection to see if the man was still there or if he left because of the weather.

I went inside found some wall hangings that I fell in love with and hurried out the door. As I drove across the street where I was planning on shopping I glanced over at him again and I knew I needed to do something, but what? I didn't have any cash, I found out while making my purchase at Goodwill that I had left my debit card at home by mistake...so what could I do? Then it hit me..if I was hungry then he must have been hungrier. I stopped to get myself something to eat using my spare credit card but added an extra meal onto the ticket. I remember trying to decide what to get him, what would he be hungry for? Then it donned on me that unlike me, he doesn't have the privilege to make choices like I do for what I want and don't want to eat.

I tried to tell myself that I would wait to give him the food after I did my grocery shopping, if he was still there when I drove back past the intersection. If he wasn't I was sure my son would eat the food later that night. Then I felt a silence come over me. No, I thought. I need to take this to him now. No being scared like the last time. I can do all things through Christ.

I quickly ordered and anticipated getting back to that corner of the intersection, planned where I would park to make sure I was out of the way of traffic. I prayed to the Lord to help me the whole time and wasn't sure what I was going to say but yet I didn't feel at lack either.

I parked the car, checked traffic, grabbed the food and quickly walked up to him. He saw me coming but he didn't look to see what I had, he just looked me straight in the eyes. As I approached him I noticed his face was red, his skin was weathered, he had shoulder length white hair, and he was wearing a long winter coat that wasn't buttoned up. I got closer and as I did I will never forget how sad his pale blue eyes looked as they reflected off of mine. He took off his gloves, took the bag of food and I remember saying, "It's cold out here, you should have some dinner. God bless you," and he returned a genuine "God bless you" to me and finished with a "Thank you."

I quickly walked to my car in the wind and noticed the driver of the car passing me by turned to look back at me. I drove back into traffic and was so flourished in the Spirit that I almost ran a stop sign. After I made it to the grocery store I ate my own dinner in the parking lot and thanked God. I felt as if people were staring at me knowing what I did, but I didn't care, it wasn't between them and me it was between me, Jesus, and the homeless man.

As I drove home from grocery shopping that night the sun was setting and I remember feeling bummed out because I had spent more than anticipated. Just as quickly as I thought this I passed that intersection and the homeless man was gone. In that same instant I felt so awful for feeling sorry for myself about what I just spent when he was probably trying to find somewhere to sleep for the night. I started weeping and couldn't stop - not even after I got home.

My heart broke that night and Jesus walked with me right through it all teaching me His way. I will never be the same because of it.